A new, sobering meme created by JDC.
I was tagged by Jin.
The question is:
"You wake up tomorrow and every person on the planet has vanished.
What do you do?"
The replies are:
Day One
Week One
Month One
Year One
Day One:
HOLY SHIT.
Have some lunch.
HOLY SHIT.
Ride around a bit.
HOLY SHIT.
Dinner.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
Try to sleep.
Week One:
I'd probably already be stocking up on supplies. How long would there be electricity? Without people running things, how long would things keep running? I would be thinking about these things, assuming things were still running.
I'd take daily trips (probably multiple trips) in search of others. My mood would alternate between panic and a deep dark depression, I imagine.
Month One:
I start to realize think there is no one else but me. Still taking trips, scanning TV/radio. At this point I would have scrounged up a HAM radio and tried that, too.
I would be completely stocked with food (mostly canned goods) from plundering various grocery stores. I would be contemplating growing my own food as well, but might not have started yet.
Would there be animals? I'd probably like to have some kind of dog so there would be someone I could talk to. It's likely all the animals in the pet stores I would visit would be dead (maybe not).
Year One:
I have a garden where I grow vegetables. I have lots of food and water. I watch movies, I read books. If I have a dog, I play outside a lot with it. I still check for signs of human life from time to time, but my heart's not in it.
I exercise a lot. I get firearms and practice shooting. I try to enjoy my life. I watch sunsets.
I tag SamuraiFrog.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Now That The Election Is Long Over, I Want You To Look At This Video And See How Incredibly Condescending Hollywood Can Be
I would have preferred each celebrity to just say the following:
"COME ON YOU STUPID FUCKING MONKEYS, VOTE"
Thursday, July 2, 2009
IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER ASK A BLOG POST
Provide your question(s) in the comments.
Manx asks:
Who do you think was a better french kisser? Gandhi, Lincoln or Mr. Rogers?
Lincoln. It's not even close.
okjimm asks:
And if a Woodchuck could chuck Wood....What wood would Tiger Woods chuck on a long par 5, dogleg left?
2-wood.
Comrade Kevin asks:
HOW ANNOYING IS IT WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPS OR WRITE LIKE IT'S SOME KIND OF TELEGRAM?
NOT THAT ANNOYING, SURPRISINGLY STOP AUNT BEATRICE SENDS HER REGARDS STOP SHE LIKES THE SWEATER YOU KNIT HER STOP WRITE BACK SOON FULL STOP
Manx asks:
Who do you think was a better french kisser? Gandhi, Lincoln or Mr. Rogers?
Lincoln. It's not even close.
okjimm asks:
And if a Woodchuck could chuck Wood....What wood would Tiger Woods chuck on a long par 5, dogleg left?
2-wood.
Comrade Kevin asks:
HOW ANNOYING IS IT WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPS OR WRITE LIKE IT'S SOME KIND OF TELEGRAM?
NOT THAT ANNOYING, SURPRISINGLY STOP AUNT BEATRICE SENDS HER REGARDS STOP SHE LIKES THE SWEATER YOU KNIT HER STOP WRITE BACK SOON FULL STOP
It's The Compulsive Collector In Me. I Cannot Stop.
***************
UPDATE:
I'm convinced there is some asshole web programmer uploading a constant stream of people not looking at computer screens, in order to torment me.
Yes, I just saw ANOTHER ad. NO MORE, I say. No more.
As Captain Picard once shouted, "The line must be drawn.... HERE!"
***************
This guy is looking at his computer, but it's not a real computer.
UPDATE:
I'm convinced there is some asshole web programmer uploading a constant stream of people not looking at computer screens, in order to torment me.
Yes, I just saw ANOTHER ad. NO MORE, I say. No more.
As Captain Picard once shouted, "The line must be drawn.... HERE!"
***************
This guy is looking at his computer, but it's not a real computer.
Sheesh, How Many Goddamn Ads Of People Not Looking At Computer Screens Did This Company Create, Anyway?
This guy is the most believable so far. He might actually be looking at the computer screen, but he most definitely isn't looking at the company's website.
Maybe it's a YouTube video of someone getting hit in the eye with a bottle rocket.
Maybe it's a YouTube video of someone getting hit in the eye with a bottle rocket.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Name That Face: Round 1 Prizes
UPDATE:
The winners have chosen their prizes.
@debenham gets the Mr. T rubber stamp!
@johndstearns gets the crab robot!
@ajonathancox gets the autographed 8x10 of Jim Belushi!
@SamuraiFrog gets the DVD of On The Right Track!
@keithwade gets the Hitchcock Truffaut book!
Winners, please email me at the address listed on my profile to tell me where to send your well-earned booty.
Thanks!
****************
Hi,
So, the first round of Name That Face has been up and running for a while, but as June ends, so too shall Round 1.
The five highest point-earners will be awarded prizes. I thought of what I think is a neat way of giving the prizes out.
The highest point-earner gets to choose a prize out of the five available. The next highest point-winner will choose from the four remaining prizes, and so on, until the fifth highest point-winner hopefully likes whatever crap the other four people didn't want.
Anyways, here are the prizes for Round 1, in no particular order.
A DVD of the famous Gary-Coleman-lives-in-a-train-locker dramedy On The Right Track! I saw this about a bejillion times when I was a kid, and imagine it still retains the whimsy I faintly remember.
A signed 8x10 of Jim Belushi! It has a few scuff marks, which you might be able to see from the scan. Note: I did not personally obtain this autograph -- I bought it at a collectible store near my house. I'm wagering it's authentic, as I do not know why someone would attempt to fake a Jim Belushi signature.
A wonderful book, consisting of interviews of Alfred Hitchcock conducted by fellow director François Truffaut.
A crab robot. It's pretty cool. What does it have to do with faces? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Cut out all the paperwork jibber-jabber with this stylish Mr. T rubber stamp!
I'll probably take a break (and give Twitter followers a little break as well) for a week or so after Round 1, then I guess I'll crank up Round 2. I was planning on resetting everyone's points back to zero for the next round to even the playing field. I'll still keep the tally of Round 1 for posterity's sake (assuming that anything related to Twitter should have posterity).
Okay, thanks a lot for playing.
P.S. For people unable to get into the top five, I do have web-based complimentary awards that are available for the taking.
The winners have chosen their prizes.
@debenham gets the Mr. T rubber stamp!
@johndstearns gets the crab robot!
@ajonathancox gets the autographed 8x10 of Jim Belushi!
@SamuraiFrog gets the DVD of On The Right Track!
@keithwade gets the Hitchcock Truffaut book!
Winners, please email me at the address listed on my profile to tell me where to send your well-earned booty.
Thanks!
****************
Hi,
So, the first round of Name That Face has been up and running for a while, but as June ends, so too shall Round 1.
The five highest point-earners will be awarded prizes. I thought of what I think is a neat way of giving the prizes out.
The highest point-earner gets to choose a prize out of the five available. The next highest point-winner will choose from the four remaining prizes, and so on, until the fifth highest point-winner hopefully likes whatever crap the other four people didn't want.
Anyways, here are the prizes for Round 1, in no particular order.
A DVD of the famous Gary-Coleman-lives-in-a-train-locker dramedy On The Right Track! I saw this about a bejillion times when I was a kid, and imagine it still retains the whimsy I faintly remember.
A signed 8x10 of Jim Belushi! It has a few scuff marks, which you might be able to see from the scan. Note: I did not personally obtain this autograph -- I bought it at a collectible store near my house. I'm wagering it's authentic, as I do not know why someone would attempt to fake a Jim Belushi signature.
A wonderful book, consisting of interviews of Alfred Hitchcock conducted by fellow director François Truffaut.
A crab robot. It's pretty cool. What does it have to do with faces? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Cut out all the paperwork jibber-jabber with this stylish Mr. T rubber stamp!
I'll probably take a break (and give Twitter followers a little break as well) for a week or so after Round 1, then I guess I'll crank up Round 2. I was planning on resetting everyone's points back to zero for the next round to even the playing field. I'll still keep the tally of Round 1 for posterity's sake (assuming that anything related to Twitter should have posterity).
Okay, thanks a lot for playing.
P.S. For people unable to get into the top five, I do have web-based complimentary awards that are available for the taking.
Minutemen Song Titles That Would Also Function Quite Nicely As Blog Post Titles
01. Shit From an Old Notebook
02. Do You Want New Wave or Do You Want the Truth?
03. Dreams are Free, Motherfucker!
04. Bob Dylan Wrote Propaganda Songs
05. I Felt Like A Gringo
06. Political Song For Michael Jackson To Sing
07. Maybe Partying Will Help
08. Shit You Hear at Parties
09. The Big Blast for Youth
10. Life As a Rehearsal
11. This Ain't No Picnic
12. Joe McCarthy's Ghost
13. History Lesson
14. God Bows To Math
15. There Ain't Shit on T.V. Tonight
16. The World According to Nouns
17. Storm in My House
18. Jesus and Tequila
19. Anxious Mo-Fo
20. It's Expected I'm Gone
02. Do You Want New Wave or Do You Want the Truth?
03. Dreams are Free, Motherfucker!
04. Bob Dylan Wrote Propaganda Songs
05. I Felt Like A Gringo
06. Political Song For Michael Jackson To Sing
07. Maybe Partying Will Help
08. Shit You Hear at Parties
09. The Big Blast for Youth
10. Life As a Rehearsal
11. This Ain't No Picnic
12. Joe McCarthy's Ghost
13. History Lesson
14. God Bows To Math
15. There Ain't Shit on T.V. Tonight
16. The World According to Nouns
17. Storm in My House
18. Jesus and Tequila
19. Anxious Mo-Fo
20. It's Expected I'm Gone
Mispelled
I hate misspelling words. Hate it.
I am pretty good at spelling.
Sometimes I make mistakes. It seems that my mistakes typically occur with words that have double letters. I'll use a single letter when double letters are required.
I got eliminated from a 5th grade spelling bee because I fucked up the word "paralel" [parallel].
Firefox has a nice spell-check feature that shows up for you when typing in text areas. A text area is a free-form box that you can type shit in.
If you use Blogger, you use text areas all the time -- it's the space where you type the body of your blog post.
So, like I said, I am good at spelling, but if I do make a mistake when typing in a text area, a red underline appears with the word Firefox thinks I messed up.
There is another kind of HTML widget called a text box, which you cannot type freeform text in. It's a simple little box where you can input a limited amount of information. The place where you type the title of your blog post uses a text box.
Firefox does not do any kind of spell check for text boxes, which I guess makes sense, seeing as you're not typing as much as in a text area. Unfortunately, when you make a spelling error, you are not alerted to it.
So, since I didn't have Firefox reminding me, "Hey lunkhead, you spelled this wrong!", I misspelled "Millennium" as "Millenium" in this post title.
You may notice that Millennium is spelled properly in the title now. I fixed it.
However, as you may or may not know, the direct link URL that is created for one's blog post actually uses text from the blog title. The URL does not get updated when one updates the title of the post.
So, unless I delete it (I'm not), this misspelling will follow me around for fucking forever.
http://isplotchy.blogspot.com/2009/06/setlist-to-june-29th-millenium-park.html
Yes, I am insane.
I am pretty good at spelling.
Sometimes I make mistakes. It seems that my mistakes typically occur with words that have double letters. I'll use a single letter when double letters are required.
I got eliminated from a 5th grade spelling bee because I fucked up the word "paralel" [parallel].
Firefox has a nice spell-check feature that shows up for you when typing in text areas. A text area is a free-form box that you can type shit in.
If you use Blogger, you use text areas all the time -- it's the space where you type the body of your blog post.
So, like I said, I am good at spelling, but if I do make a mistake when typing in a text area, a red underline appears with the word Firefox thinks I messed up.
There is another kind of HTML widget called a text box, which you cannot type freeform text in. It's a simple little box where you can input a limited amount of information. The place where you type the title of your blog post uses a text box.
Firefox does not do any kind of spell check for text boxes, which I guess makes sense, seeing as you're not typing as much as in a text area. Unfortunately, when you make a spelling error, you are not alerted to it.
So, since I didn't have Firefox reminding me, "Hey lunkhead, you spelled this wrong!", I misspelled "Millennium" as "Millenium" in this post title.
You may notice that Millennium is spelled properly in the title now. I fixed it.
However, as you may or may not know, the direct link URL that is created for one's blog post actually uses text from the blog title. The URL does not get updated when one updates the title of the post.
So, unless I delete it (I'm not), this misspelling will follow me around for fucking forever.
http://isplotchy.blogspot.com/2009/06/setlist-to-june-29th-millenium-park.html
Yes, I am insane.
A Carnival Of Sorts
So, I am coming home from picking up some groceries this past Wednesday night, and I get a call on my cellphone from a number I do not recognize. It was a New Jersey number.
My friend Chris from the Galaxie 500 mailing list had recently sent me an email, offering me some comfort regarding my recent crappy life events. He also mentioned that Stanley [Demeski, drummer for the Feelies] was looking forward to seeing me when his band would be in town to play Millennium Park on June 29th.
I gave Chris my cellphone number and told him if Stanley wanted to give me a call, he was welcome to.
So, he gave me a call! We talked briefly on the phone, enough for me to insert my foot gracelessly in my mouth. I was telling him that Millennium Park was a great place to play, and said I had seen a puppet show there. After I hung up the phone, I immediately thought of this.
Anyways, he was going to give me a call when they got into town on Sunday, but the plane arrived later than anticipated.
On Monday, as I was headed downtown (I had taken the day off from work), I hesitatingly rang Stanley up. He was once again very nice, etc. He said they were getting ready to do a soundcheck.
So, once I got into Union Station, I made a beeline for the Pritzker Pavilion. I was able to catch the last couple songs of their soundcheck.
I went up briefly after the soundcheck had finished. I waved at Stanley and he walked over. He was very friendly. I said I was putting in an advanced request for a setlist and he said he would see what he could do.
I met up with my friend Andy, who was just getting off work. We grabbed a bite to eat, then moseyed over to the Pritzker Pavilion via the lovely Lurie Gardens.
We soon arrived at the beautiful lawn in front of the Pavilion.
Yes, they sold beer there!
There was an opening band -- Icy Demons, a nice band from Chicago with a strong emphasis on keyboards.
As it started to get dark, the colored lights came on.
More and more people arrived as the Feelies prepared to play.
And play they did!
Here's the setlist (thanks to Gret Kot)
1. On the Roof
2. High Road
3. Nobody Knows
4. Let's Go
5. Deep Fascination
6. Higher Ground
7. The Final Word
8. Time Is Right
9. Away
10. Slipping (Into Something)
11. Doin' It Again
12. Too Far Gone
13. Raised Eyebrows
14. Crazy Rhythms
Encore:
15. Carnival of Sorts (R.E.M. cover)
16. Fa Ce-La
17. What Goes On (Velvet Underground cover)
Second encore:
18. Paint it Black (Rolling Stones cover)
"Nobody Knows" and "Time Is Right" were new songs. I had heard "Time Is Right" at Maxwell's last year but hadn't heard "Nobody Knows" before.
They had a wonderful amount of energy. They played one of my favorite songs "Away" particularly freaky fast.
Near the end of their set (before the encores), a gangly kid started dancing up and down the aisles and in front of the stage. When the band kicked into "Crazy Rhythms" a number of people spontaneously joined him. A whole bunch of people stood up. All of the sudden the sedate crowd was in a rock 'n roll mood. It was a beautiful thing to be a part of, especially since the Feelies are so near and dear to my heart. Thank you, mysterious gangly kid!
The crowd remained standing for the two encores, and would have loved to have more if the city had allowed the band to continue.
I was happily surprised to see them kick into "A Carnival Of Sorts (Boxcars)", a great song off of R.E.M.'s first record Chronic Town. I imagine this was the song they played for a recent tribute to R.E.M. at Carnegie Hall.
They did a great rocking version of the VU's "What Goes On". I would have preferred them to end with the Beatles' "Everybody's Got Something To Hide (Except For Me And My Monkey)" instead of "Paint It Black", but I'LL LET IT SLIDE.
Great, great, great, great, great, great show.
I went afterwards and talked to Stanley again. He gave me his setlist. I involuntarily laughed like Jabba the Hutt as I grasped it. A woman with a professional looking camera asked me if she could take a picture of the setlist. I of course let her, because that's what I am all about.
Stanley said there was some shindig upstairs inside the Pritzker Pavilion which he needed to attend. I said he could give me call if he wanted to grab a beer, as I'd be downtown for a bit.
Before we left, I took a pic near the stage, looking out.
And, a pic from the lawn, with the Pavilion all lit up like a metal flower.
Andy and I roamed about for a bar and found one at the Hard Rock Hotel. What's more rock 'n roll than a $5.25 bottle of Budweiser? *I* sure as hell don't know.
Stanley didn't end up calling me, but I was perfectly fine with that. It was a beautiful evening -- beautiful weather, beautiful music, beautiful everything.
Thanks to the Feelies, thanks to Millennium Park, thanks to the city of Chicago, thanks to summer, thank you, thank you, thank you.
UPDATE:
My mate Andy found the picture of me holding the setlist on Flickr! Thanks, Andy!!
The rest of the Flickr set
My friend Chris from the Galaxie 500 mailing list had recently sent me an email, offering me some comfort regarding my recent crappy life events. He also mentioned that Stanley [Demeski, drummer for the Feelies] was looking forward to seeing me when his band would be in town to play Millennium Park on June 29th.
I gave Chris my cellphone number and told him if Stanley wanted to give me a call, he was welcome to.
So, he gave me a call! We talked briefly on the phone, enough for me to insert my foot gracelessly in my mouth. I was telling him that Millennium Park was a great place to play, and said I had seen a puppet show there. After I hung up the phone, I immediately thought of this.
Anyways, he was going to give me a call when they got into town on Sunday, but the plane arrived later than anticipated.
On Monday, as I was headed downtown (I had taken the day off from work), I hesitatingly rang Stanley up. He was once again very nice, etc. He said they were getting ready to do a soundcheck.
So, once I got into Union Station, I made a beeline for the Pritzker Pavilion. I was able to catch the last couple songs of their soundcheck.
I went up briefly after the soundcheck had finished. I waved at Stanley and he walked over. He was very friendly. I said I was putting in an advanced request for a setlist and he said he would see what he could do.
I met up with my friend Andy, who was just getting off work. We grabbed a bite to eat, then moseyed over to the Pritzker Pavilion via the lovely Lurie Gardens.
We soon arrived at the beautiful lawn in front of the Pavilion.
Yes, they sold beer there!
There was an opening band -- Icy Demons, a nice band from Chicago with a strong emphasis on keyboards.
As it started to get dark, the colored lights came on.
More and more people arrived as the Feelies prepared to play.
And play they did!
Here's the setlist (thanks to Gret Kot)
1. On the Roof
2. High Road
3. Nobody Knows
4. Let's Go
5. Deep Fascination
6. Higher Ground
7. The Final Word
8. Time Is Right
9. Away
10. Slipping (Into Something)
11. Doin' It Again
12. Too Far Gone
13. Raised Eyebrows
14. Crazy Rhythms
Encore:
15. Carnival of Sorts (R.E.M. cover)
16. Fa Ce-La
17. What Goes On (Velvet Underground cover)
Second encore:
18. Paint it Black (Rolling Stones cover)
"Nobody Knows" and "Time Is Right" were new songs. I had heard "Time Is Right" at Maxwell's last year but hadn't heard "Nobody Knows" before.
They had a wonderful amount of energy. They played one of my favorite songs "Away" particularly freaky fast.
Near the end of their set (before the encores), a gangly kid started dancing up and down the aisles and in front of the stage. When the band kicked into "Crazy Rhythms" a number of people spontaneously joined him. A whole bunch of people stood up. All of the sudden the sedate crowd was in a rock 'n roll mood. It was a beautiful thing to be a part of, especially since the Feelies are so near and dear to my heart. Thank you, mysterious gangly kid!
The crowd remained standing for the two encores, and would have loved to have more if the city had allowed the band to continue.
I was happily surprised to see them kick into "A Carnival Of Sorts (Boxcars)", a great song off of R.E.M.'s first record Chronic Town. I imagine this was the song they played for a recent tribute to R.E.M. at Carnegie Hall.
They did a great rocking version of the VU's "What Goes On". I would have preferred them to end with the Beatles' "Everybody's Got Something To Hide (Except For Me And My Monkey)" instead of "Paint It Black", but I'LL LET IT SLIDE.
Great, great, great, great, great, great show.
I went afterwards and talked to Stanley again. He gave me his setlist. I involuntarily laughed like Jabba the Hutt as I grasped it. A woman with a professional looking camera asked me if she could take a picture of the setlist. I of course let her, because that's what I am all about.
Stanley said there was some shindig upstairs inside the Pritzker Pavilion which he needed to attend. I said he could give me call if he wanted to grab a beer, as I'd be downtown for a bit.
Before we left, I took a pic near the stage, looking out.
And, a pic from the lawn, with the Pavilion all lit up like a metal flower.
Andy and I roamed about for a bar and found one at the Hard Rock Hotel. What's more rock 'n roll than a $5.25 bottle of Budweiser? *I* sure as hell don't know.
Stanley didn't end up calling me, but I was perfectly fine with that. It was a beautiful evening -- beautiful weather, beautiful music, beautiful everything.
Thanks to the Feelies, thanks to Millennium Park, thanks to the city of Chicago, thanks to summer, thank you, thank you, thank you.
UPDATE:
My mate Andy found the picture of me holding the setlist on Flickr! Thanks, Andy!!
The rest of the Flickr set
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